My Hard Labor
People say i am lazy ... laid back ... super cool etc etc ... but that doesn't mean I have put down no efforts for living ... I had to put a lot of work to be myself ... or to endorse a better experience for the people I care about ... My hard labor gone unnoticed due to lack of advertisement may be :) ... or nobody cares about my struggle ... Life changes the question after you find the answer for it - its been true for me in few occasions ... so sometime it seems all my struggle, my efforts wasted in time ... but also those efforts and struggle made me the man I am now, for better or worse ... so i will carry on as i did before ... results will vary based on, i don't know ... situation, surroundings etc ... the thing is - its not that you don't get the exact things you wanted, sometime its the exact opposite you get and have to live with that, no matter what you did in past or how much labor you put down to get there ... anyways it is what it is !
My Own Worst Enemy
I am writing a series of blogs ... this is the first one ...
I have made lot of friends ... some really good friends, whom I hold close to my heart (and also felt close to theirs too) ... But there are few enemies also, I made along the way ... though I am a very friendly person, but you still get into the dirt without knowing how that's going to smell ...anyway ... I am sure I am not the enemy kind ... but still life make some unknowingly ... too good might be not as good as it feels like ... then after lots of pondering over the possible enemy list, I found the worst one ... its me ... yes I am my worst enemy ... surprised? ... me too ... ironically true ... life had given lots of opportunities, lots of chances to take ... not that straight-forward or risk free ... but as goes the round-robin league, randomly chances or opportunities peeked into my life ... i guess ... did i never felt the guts? ... I am a guy who thinks twice before taking step, puts himself into other shoes ... very careful not to hurt others by any means ... had the best intentions for everyone ... too casual? ... what is good , what is bad - been the driving force of my life decisions, indulged into responsibilities and duties ... lame career ... moving targets ... been good done good .. but never never fared a lot in the future ... didn't looked at the underlying loss, eating up all my savings ... the losses might not be subtle to ponder upon, but the opposite gains could have been enchanting ... I stopped myself going to those risky roads ... taken the easiest one, fairer one ... gone with flow or opposite the flow in wrong times ... yeah I had seen people who made best of everything, but I ended with nothing that's special ... few loving memories, few betrayals and few not-so-good life experiences ... I sabotaged my relations from inside and mostly gone head over heart ... waited too long for things too happen ... fighting all the lost battle, never gave up ... lived for the good part, looked at the better half overlooking the worse ... been the most unconditional ... kept the hope when there is none ... these might seem to be good traits of life in some way ... but I feel I have lost more ... I should taken the leap for the lesser known ... acted on the less tried ones ... was I scared to loose everything? ... I had the guts in me .. I could have leveraged my curious mind for better when I was settling for less ... trying for win-win is not always a good idea ... there are no regrets as such, but there are many times when I became my enemy and did all the good for nothing or settled for the consolation prize ... so now knowing the worst enemy is in me, I have find a way to make peace with him or declare war for justice to ongoing life ... I will live my life in my own terms, at least I can give a serious try!
